Overview
Have you ever walked into a room and overheard someone's conversation when you wish you didn’t? What was it and why did you wish you didn’t hear it? Was it something that made you feel uncomfortable? Something that was highly disturbing? Or something that made you so infuriated that all you wanted to do was walk over there and tell them to shut up? Well, let me tell you a story about a time where I almost had to tell a loved one to shut up because of their word choices.
The Word
Retarded. RE-TAR-DED. The “R” word. The offensiveness
behind those three syllables. I HATE IT. You hear it everywhere. “Oh dude that boy looks so retarded wearing that outfit”. “This assignment is so retarded.” “Bro, stop acting like a retard.” Now quite frankly, it has gotten to the point where you would think society has a better understanding of how cruel and disrespectful that word is but do people care? Of course not. People get in these mindsets or are so stuck in their set ways they do not care what you say to them to get them to stop.
Now I know telling someone “Hey that's wrong you shouldn’t say that” might not do anything, but teaching them WHY it’s wrong and educating them through that process might change their mindsets just a little bit.
The Story
When I started dating my boyfriend Noah who is in the United States Marine Corps two and a half years ago, it was completely shocking when I heard the way that he talked to other marines. He would swear, mess around, all the things you would think that “the boys” would do, but when he first shouted the “R” word in front of me to one of his other friends, I was appalled. I thought to myself “Wow Gianna, this can really make or break this relationship.” How was I supposed to be with someone who was going to speak that way, especially when I am in a field working with people with disabilities? Now I was in a pickle, but I swallowed that horse pill and made the decision to start that difficult conversation.
I started off by first asking, "Do you understand how offensive that word is or how that word even appeared in our language?" He didn’t answer..I paused and proceeded with “exactly, many people don"t. I started to calmly explain the history of the “R” word and why it was used so many years ago to diagnose those of being “mentally retarded” but now in todays society, it is no longer used in the medical field because of the concept of people first language. Outside the medical world though, society decided to adopt that term by using it to call others stupid, which is where it all went wrong. Who would have ever thought that one world could be SO POWERFUL. He was shocked.
“I never thought of it in that way before,” Noah stated. How could I have been so cruel and disrespectful?” I’m so sorry if I ever offended you or anyone else.” On a side note once I heard that, I know he was going to be a keeper.
The Change
From that day forward, Noah never stated that word again and in fact, he started educating his friends and fellow Marines of inclusive language. People first language is vitally important in the Therapeutic Recreation field but honestly, it should be vitally important everywhere. All it takes is one person. One person to speak up and interrupt those conversations that you wish you didn't walk into. Now I know it's a whole lot easier said than done, but if you are passionate and educated on the subject enough, it makes those “difficult conversations” a whole heck of a lot easier. Use your power the right way.
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